It's Time. Way back in October 2004, I started writing the blog, not really knowing what to expect, and certainly not expecting that it would get to be as big (relatively speaking) as it is, nor would it have given me some of the opportunities it has. I started for two simple reasons. First, I wanted an outlet for my writing. My day job has me doing lots of godawful writing. Heretofores.

For fark's sake, Boz. Get your head out of your ass! First, when is this guy going to stop writing about the goddamn stadium? We get it. We've seen it. We've read the same farkin' column for the last fourteen weeks. But here he is, swallowing the Stan Kasten Kool Aid. Kasten's at the funnel, pouring gallon after gallon of Purplesaurus Rex, while the tube is shoved so far down Boz' gullet

Nats Enquirer points to the good news! On his big day with his bobblehead (though with Pittsburgh in town, it could pass for a Jerome Bettis one), Dmitri has found the miracle cure for that aching back: a masseuse! "I was stunned," Bowden said. "All of a sudden, he has instant relief. She found the spot.... and his hips went through it." What a happy ending! Now he's on to Viera to start

So Chad Cordero's out. It's an acute tear of the latissimus dorsi muscle. What's that mean? His shoulder hurts. The lat is a big muscle that covers a good chunk of your back and side. Here's a handy picture, and you can pretty easily see why a tear there would make a pitcher cry. If you remember last night, when the trainer came out, that's right about where Chad pointed: the area under the

I'd make a gravitational force joke, but that's too easy. I do believe they miss Dmitri Young. I believe he could provide an occasional spark if given a chance to start in left field. In all my years in Washington, Young is the only player who makes a difference just by his presence alone. You might've missed it, but Dmitri did play some left in spring training. Here's a picture of him ranging

All things considered, it was a pretty good week. Four and three is always a good week, I suppose. You do that every week, and you've got ninety or so wins. For a team that was taking on water like the inside of Screech's costume on an August afternoon, 4-3 is terrific. For a team that faced John Smoltz, Tim Hudson, Carlos Zambrano, Johan and Santana -- not to mention Ryan Dempster, Ollie

If you and your buddy were making picks of players to hit a walk-off, alternating players, where would Wil Nieves get picked? Last? Maybe just a pick ahead of the other Wee Willie, Harris? Man! Did you see that swing?! Up and away junk, and he swung high, driving the ball to right, a sorta excuse me swing that kept going and going and going and GONE! (As Lenny Harris would undoubtedly say

I traded questions with Byron from Goat Riders of the Apocalypse, who's already relishing the prospect of a sweep. (Apparently he's seen Matt Chico pitch!) My answers to his questions are at that link up there ^^^ His answers to my questions are down here vvvv The Nationals are cursed with a terrible TV play-by-play guy. What I've heard of Len Kasper, I've loved. But familiarity usually

The FIRE LENNY!!!! Chorus got a reprieve while they were running the Hudson/Smoltz/Santana gauntlet. No fair blaming him for something the rest of the league can't usually do against them. But they certainly looked like a new team out there yesterday. I didn't see those lazy opposite-field swings. And the six walks shows they were grinding out ABs. Perez threw 100 pitches in 5+ innings,

In the words of the noted philosopher Joey Eischen, "Suck on it and like it!"

1) Nice crowd there last night. Though the place was dead. Not sure if it's the lousy team, the segregated seats or what, but the place really hasn't had much atmosphere in any of the games I've been to this year. At least the Mets fans were there to spice it up a bit. 2) The lines for ticket-buyers were long, and plenty of people reported problems waiting half-an-hour in line. That's silly.

Didja see them? They're Byooo-T-Full! And the PlayStation? Did you know we have one? You can build your own Screech even! C'mon up to the Red Porch! What's that? No, don't look over there towards the green grass! Come over here! Did you see Ben's chili bowl! No, don't look towards the mound! I implore you! See! We've got pretzels! They're shaped like our logo! A buck goes towards

I heard this quote coming in, and Barry helpfully transcribes it: [W]e want to win every single night," Manager Manny Acta said. "But with the plan we have here, and what we're trying to accomplish here, an outing by this young man like that is worth three or four of those losses. Just when I was starting to feel sympathy for Manny's stomach lining... Related news, Felipe has won his second base

What's it called when the Nats finish a game with more runs than the other team again? There's a word for it, probably a stat, even... anyone? Baseball's a great game sometimes. Nats were sending up a rookie against a should-be Hall-of-Famer (he's really one of my favorite pitchers to watch). The Nats were starting the all slap-hitting lineup with FLop, Guzman, Wee Willie Harris, and Wil

Oh fercrissake "[The hitting] hasn't picked up like I thought it would pick up," [pathetically over-matched hitting coach Lenny] Harris said. "It is a mystery to me. The whole offensive team went from doing well to searching for a base hit. I guess that is a part of baseball. You live and you learn. "It could be personal reasons and could be something [that made them angry]. I try to talk to

Feel free to order a set of these for your next home game in the Capitol Punishment Web Store. I find they look especially nice in the $47 Red Porch seats. They really do come up with new and interesting ways to suck, don't they? Losing is one thing. Losing in such embarrassing fashion is something else. If Bowden had a soul, I'm sure he'd have a hard time sleeping. Instead, I'm sure he's

The other day, we looked at Ryan Zimmerman's patience. The conclusion was that he's swinging at a lot more pitches, and making less solid contact. The numbers back up what the eyes are seeing. But what else can we see in the numbers? After looking at a few different sets of Zimmerman's 2008 stats and pitch-by-pitch results, it's pretty clear that what our eyes are seeing is right: he's going

Seen any good movies lately? Got any recommendations for a nice strong drink? Does Giant charge if you want to take an extra paper bag home? What's the best way of measuring for proper eye hole height? They're actually a game behind last year's soul-crushing pace, as if that were possible. Fool me once... A 1-5 record in the week isn't anything to get excited about. But just keep in mind

C'mon. We're better than that. (Consider the source, I know) I remember an episode of Iron Chef, when they brought the Iron Chefs to America for a few episodes. One of the shows featured one of the Iron Chefs going to a viewer's house to prepare a gourmet meal using nothing but the ingredients in the viewer's house. This being a typical American house, the cupboard was full of Hamburger

That was as embarrassing a half-an-inning of baseball as I've ever seen in my life. Manny ain't perfect, but if you're calling for his head, you're looking in the wrong direction. PS: FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, FIRE LENNY!!!!!!! (It's a reflex at this point)